Dear Inya Faas,
There is a guy I have been dating for
three fourteen years now. We are in a committed relationship, well, actually, it is patterned on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Don’t ask. Please.
He can ask me anything, I would tell him everything. I love him–he is smart, beautiful, kind, generous and plays pool wicked-bad! He never asks me.
The problem is that everyone likes him more than me. A lot more. It’s at a point where I am sure he will fall for someone else and just leave me because he is so cool and I am not–I can’t even hit the cue ball without gashing the pool table. If I ask him if he is in love with someone else, he will say “Yes” for sure. Then he will compare us and leave me. But it is torture to NOT ask him. What should I do?
Pool Hall Lil’ aka ‘Shanghai Lil’
Just ask. Ask. Tell. Talk. Shoot the breeze. Shoot a game of pool, shoot a shot. “Don’t ask Don’t Tell,” doesn’t mean “Don’t Talk.”
If you believe that your guy will leave you, you will create that very effect. How? By having a distance created out of fear. Tell him how you feel. Don’t tell him how he feels. That’s what the ‘Don’t Tell’ part really stands for.
And remember, cheap philosophy number 729 states, “As you believe, so it shall be.”